Phuket sunset….. 好靚好靚 (by elaine)

好在有 D90，見到個咁靚既天，都好比心機去影。不過第一晚個到，真係好難用部機，70% 都手震!!

first sunset outside of Batik Thai Restaurant

we dined under this beautiful sky~

sunset on wedding day... the photographer was asking where was the sky from the day before... what a pity!

dinner @ Baba Dining on our last night in Phuket..... the sky was amazing...

little statue @ Sri Panwa

2.22 T&T Phuket Wedding – Beach Contrast (by Elaine)

去到泰國，當然係陽光與海灘! 我地住 o個間 resort 附近既海灘，只有幾間露天餐廳，室外 Massage, 連有得買 flip flops 的舖頭也只有兩間! Nai Yang Beach，好寧靜，好舒服，好有 Samui -feel!

最後一日，出城，去到 Patong Beach, 嚇死我地，加上烈日當空，我地走都走唔切!! hehehehe

2.22 T&T Phuket Wedding Sneak Peak!(by Elaine)

第一次參加 destination wedding; 亦係很小會覺得一個婚禮會係咁完美的呢!!

during wedding banquet

ESFJ 性格分析 愛情 / 生活篇 (by Elaine)

um…睇完工作，當然要睇埋愛情啦，我係F 人呀嘛，點都要講下 d 講 feel 既野!

(都係 from http://www.geocities.com/lifexplore/esfj.htm)

愛情方面 – what love means for ESFJs

• love means warmth and commitment
• when ESFJs first fall in love, they show this warmth and concern for their partner in many tangible ways: they will send cards, notes, flowers, special gifts, and other mementos of their affection. If the partner casually mentions a desire for a specific thing, they will try to find just that thing (真係?? )
• once committed in a relationship, ESFJs tend to stay with it even when there is inconvenience to them and perhaps longer than may be healthy
• they are able to bring out the best in their partners, even though it may mean putting their own needs second (well… this need to be confirmed by a 2nd opinion)
• because ESFJs are caring individuals, they expect to give and receive in their relationships. Because others may not be as thoughtful as the ESFJ, it is a possible source of disappointment to them if they expect the same awareness and caring on the part of the partner. Being practical and realistic, they may not always like effusive shows of affection and prefer moderation instead (好似好矛盾咁………)
• ESFJs wear their hearts on their sleeves (this is no good… according to my family) and are outgoing in their emotional reactions. They need to be needed, loved, and appreciated (***** BIG BIG hint to Rwell… this is super true and important) and may spend much energy reassuring themselves that this is the case
• ESFJs may take the end of the relationship as a personal failure. ESFJs, when scorned, hurt all over and may need to take time to get over the relationship before pursuing a new one. They may too easily and incorrectly blame themselves for the unfavorable outcome and recall instances when perhaps they were not as giving as they might have been. However, ESFJs’ standards for giving in a relationship are likely to be above those of some other types. At their worst when scorned, ESFJs can become spiteful and critical of the partner. Because ESFJs are keenly sensitive to others and are tuned in to emotional needs, they really know how to hurt a person in the rare instances when they choose to do so  (好似好恐怖咁喎………..)

ESFJ 的生活 -

1. ESFJs have a set of values which contain clear should and should-nots, and they expect their family to abide by these (yet when they do not, it’s a huge problem because ESFJs do not take conflict well…….. and they blame themselves for it; aka explain some growing-up dilemmas)
2. they are conscientious about home responsibilities, are orderly about the home and prefer that other occupants be the same (BIG BIG Hint to future Rwell; though my parents would not agree!)
3. ESFJs want family decisions settled efficiently and quickly and family living routinized, schedule and correctly executed (home-living nazi???). They do not rebel against routine operations , are devoted to the traditional values of home and health, respect their marriage vows and are the most sympathetic of all types…. ((死板仔?? hahahha, example 1: if people see me rushing home on Sunday after Church, that’s because my family go to Park’N Shop on Sunday…. it’s nothing special, but it’s the ONLY tradition in my family and I DO observed this traditional strictly)
4. ESFJs usually respect and revere their parents ( i.e. the inability to reject their opinions…..)
5. they tend to be dependent on their mates and may marry to insure they have a proper place in the social strata (????? really??).
6. they enjoy socializing and entertaining;  they are soft-hearted and usually observe with gusto birthdays, anniversaries and the like, making the event a delightful, important occasion.They enjoy the rituals connected with serving of good food and beverages, thrive on festive occasions, respect and accumulate a goodly store of material possessions (remember previous posts about me & celebrations as well as party props???????!!! gosh… )
7. yet, they may cause others undue tension by expressing anticipations of gloom and doom, exhibiting a bent toward the pessimistic that can be contagious. they need to control their fears that the worst is sure to happen and suppress their tendency toward crepe-hanging and anticipating disasters
8. the children of ESFJ (***** IMPORTANT NOTE TO SELF) are seen as an extension of the family and all they do reflects on the ESFJ. If things do no go well, the ESFJ may be critical, even carping toward his or her mate and children (…. on no….)
9. ESFJs live in terms of people and things rather than in terms of ideas and principles. they enjoy the process of decision-making, particularly when focus is on the usefulness of things and people (?????)

I guess this is the end of the ESFJ series………..

ESFJ 性格分析 工作篇 (by Elaine)

下?! 竟然有 工作篇呢?

認識我的人都知我係一位全職學生，稍為熟的人都可能知道其實我對於 Li個身份都有d介意，又充滿著矛盾…. Li 四年其實過得一d都唔容易，雖然 there are many goods during these 4 years, 但係好多時我都好後悔決定讀書，亦覺得自己係一個走唔出的困局。但係呢，天父就係Li 個時候，安排我係團契安靜下來，係一個溫室環境去更加了解自己，唔好再自怨自憐!

So here we go again – (都係 from http://www.geocities.com/lifexplore/esfj.htm)

I. Learning for ESFJs

1. learn best in structured situations where they know what they can expect  (definitely NOT how PG studies are….)
2. learning tends to be a personal experience for ESFJs. This attitude combined with their ability to follow through and meet deadlines, result in a conscientious and effective students. ESFJs often enjoy studies about people and their well-being (yes for my BSc studies, it was like finally learning something I like), and are usually less interested in theoretical and abstract subject matters (……….PG study trap again!!),
3. ESFJs want to like the person who teaches them. The teacher-student relationship is helpful to them in doing their best. When there is disharmony in the classroom, it interrupts their learning process (this is so ironic considered what happened in the past 2 years, it is most definitely a signal from God to learn a lesson).  When their work is criticized, even constructively, ESFJs may feel demoralized until they get it right, and the teacher acknowledges this. Because they tend to personalize the feedback of their teachers, it is important for them to know teachers’ expectations so that they can work to meet them. (the latter part… never came; maybe this was why it was soooooooo difficult!)

Work for ESFJs

1. at work, ESFJs contribute their ability to cooperate with others and to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way
2. they respect rules and authority and handle daily operations efficiently. ESFJs also tend to be well informed and up-to-date on organizational actions that matter to people
3. they also make sure personal relationships are running smoothly (and thus would feel horrible when they do not, aka, situation in voice lab personnel right now…..) because they pay close attention to people’s needs and wants and are often involved in work activities that meet people’s practical day-to-day desires
4. ESFJs prefer occupations that allow them to provide direct and personal, yet practical, help to others; occupations that call for organization and goal direction appeal to them. They are especially careful not to waste or resources; to do so would go against their nature.
5. occupations such as………..speech pathologist …appeal to ESFJs as they allow them to help others and serve their values directly

4年前，決定讀書時，我係推了一份工的，當時其實我心中係好難受，但係我想：只係四年，搵少四年錢，但係可以賺了一個機會，一個可以行第二條 Career Path 的機會，或者係比我想清楚我下一步要點行，就算真係要做番言語治療師，都要想清想楚，而當時的我，又真係唔 ready 做言語治療師 。就係咁，係4年之後，天父好奇妙地慢慢重整了我，比了好多經歷同埋反省的機會我，慢慢就係咁，比我看清楚了。

ESFJ 性格分析 Profile 篇 II (by Elaine)

網上其實有好多好多MBTI 分析，上一篇Post 係 personalitypage.com 的，我覺得好好，因為較 general, 而且會講埋決點。而以下的，係從生活上各方面去分析 (From http://www.geocities.com/lifexplore/esfj.htm)

整體 Profile

ESFJs are

1. helpful people who place high value on harmony, wherever they go, they promote harmony and harmonious relationship (9 號仔? 我係9 號仔喎!)
2. follow through on their commitments (um….. 我覺得應該係因為#1，因為這樣是會 maintain #1 的)
3. great nurturers of established (注意, 係要係 established 的)；they work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way, contribute to others by anticipating their day-to-day concerns and handling them with warmth and efficiency
4. ESFJs are at their best in organizing people to get a job done (control freak?  hey, wedding planner business should be no problem then!)
5. pay close attention to people’s needs and wants, ESFJs are outstanding hostesses, they can be observed attending to the needs of others at social gatherings, able to call people by name after only 1 introduction, trying to insure all guests are comfortable and involved (this sounds like Monica – ‘I am always the hostess’!, 不過師父亦講過我好似 Monica…….)
6. energized by interactions with people, may become restless when isolated from people (see below…… coz this answered a question I had for myself last week!)
7. tend to idealize whatever or whoever they admire (I always wonder why I am not able to see things / people for what they/ who are!!! this is my blind spot?????)
8. conscientious and orderly, prefer structure organized situations in which warmth and compassion are shown (the version of voice lab when i first started PG study….. that was what attracted me!)
9. traditions are developed, supported and carefully observed by the ESFJ (no wonder I was shown to a Traditionalist in TJTA test in pre-marriage counseling!)
10. conscious of appearances and take the opinions of others regarding social standards very serious
11. hurt by indifference and need to be appreciated both for themselves and for the abundance, typically in the form of services they give to others
12. like closure (in almost ANYthing)

真係越睇就越覺得自己係 ESFJ，重可以answer 埋我上個星期一d 困惑! 因為上星期我少少閉關讀 Stat 野，全日留係屋企，兩日無出過街，但只係過了兩日，個人好唔正常，好想搵 friend 出街玩，我重以為係唔知咩事!

(to be continued….)

ESFJ 性格分析 Profile 篇 I (by Elaine)

究竟點解上一個post講MBTI要特登提情人節呢？其實都係想係 Li 個 sell 愛的節日，我都係到 sell  下天父有幾愛我 Li 個咁insignificant 的人   Share 一下Li 個世界上比得我最多愛的天父既奇妙工作~

不過，首先都係要講番MBTI 先，分析了我的性格類型，先可以好簡單睇到天父的plan 呢!

當係 Fellowship 我知道自己係 ESFJ or ENFJ 的性格時，返屋企之後，我便上網再搵多d資料。Here it is,

First of all – ESFJ = The Caregiver (from http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFJ.html)

The primary mode of living : focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system (me me me!). Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your 5 senses in a literal, concrete fashion (Yes, I am sure Rwell would agree…..)

ESFJs love people and are warmly interested in others. They use their S & J characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others and turn this information into supportive judgments ( me me me!). They want to like people and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. ESFJ’s strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant ( me me me!) makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs (I certainly hope so), because ESFJs have a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

ESFJs take their responsibilities very seriously and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done , and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks (me me me!!!) and are extremely good at them.

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves (me me me!!!!!!!!). They are hurt by indifferences and don’t’ understand unkindness (me me me!!! AGAIN! seriously, i used to think something was wrong with me when this happened!). They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others (o yes….). They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They’re very sensitive to others and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about (a blind eye?? yes… this is me again….).

With their E-characteristics, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked and to be in control (o yes, for the control part!). They are extremely good at reading others and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they’re with at the moment (o yes… when i think about me in the past……).

The ESFJ’s value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system (o no….. this is where it can easily get wrong!!!). They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values (Thank God I have Him and the Bible now).

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second though. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system (o oh….). They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. It is very dangerous for their extroverted feeling drives them to control and manipulate and their lack  of N prevents them from seeing the big picture. They’re usually quite popular and good with people and good at manipulating them . Unlike ENFJs, they don’t’ have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions which drive them to manipulate to achieve their own ends, yet they believe they are following a solid moral code of conduct (well… right now I really wish I am not an ESFJ this way! but then again, I now have a very solid moral code to follow, aka, the Bible)

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment (me again… aka wedding planner craze). Their dominant function demands structure and organization and seeks closure (um…. past relationships do ring a bell here). ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments (A仔? ). They’re not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis (why am I doing a PhD??????????). They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills ( I LOVE structure~~). ESFJs should be careful about controlling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled (ok…. any one wants file a complain, please raise their hands now!).

ESFJs respect and eblieve in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They’re traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory (most absolutely true!). Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questions or understanding them.

An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. She might also be very controlling, or overly sensitive, imaging bad intentions when there weren’t any. (yes… this is me when i was at the lowest point of my life….)

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic and energetic (I hope this is describing me….). They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

WHEW……………….this is loooooooooooooooooooong. but mostly, i do find myself here as an ESFJ. this is me….. the Me that God created specifically for His plans.

MBTI Test on Valentine’s Day (by Elaine)

今日係情人節，團契的週會主題是 MBTI ~

以前，我做過既性格測試都只係網上的，而且都無真真正正去思考自己的性格係點。其實真係好好好感恩，返了教會，團契之後 ，先至有機會做這類性格測試，而且，就好似天父放我係這個’溫室環境’，比我有機會去了解自己，睇清楚自己係有d事情上會咁諗，咁做，同咁決定。好多時，過往一d決定唔係我失敗，無想清楚，或係做錯，可能好大因素係來自我的性格….

我的MBTI性格係 – (燈燈燈凳) ESFJ  (most probably, otherwise it’s ENFJ)

1. Extrovert 外向 (E)  vs Introvert 內向 (I)

第一項要睇的係生活態度： E or I。係團契入面聽E的性格時，我係好肯定我係一個Ｅ，但係 Rwell 話我一定係 I，令到我困惑左一陣！簡單黎講，Ｅ係一個需要從朋友得到 energy 的人，好多好多朋友，識野好多，但一Ｄ都唔深入，一邊講一邊思考，活躍，表達自己，樂意與人交往。I呢，係 著重內心世界，生活深度，透過安靜，反省，思考及意念獲得動力，專注集中，不易受外界影響。但點解我會被以為係Ｉ呢？傳道話人越大，就會越多Ｉ的性格出現，無可能無Ｉ，亦可能係我本身的經歷，令到有好多Ｉ。但係Ｉ的人係唔會以為自己係 E 的。

2. Judging 決斷 (J) vs Perceiving  觀賞 (P)

第二項，都係講生活態度 – J or P。這一項，毫無疑問，我一定係 J ，而且係 J 到唔可以再 J 的。之前係令一個 post 都講過 J 的性格- 一個字 Plan. 乜都plan, plan plan plan plan plan，生活最鍾意就係 to do list，同埋check 晒 d to do list items . iris 尋日同我講，佢有兩個J- friend 仲會有 d 幫佢地 plan 野既 tool，hahahahahha, 我都有!!!! 電腦有pop-up post-its, 結婚有網上 download 既 planner, 行街最鍾意晒 $ 買reminder notes。而且 J-人生活要整齊，有條理，例子: 當我同弟兄姊妹分享我衣櫃的冬天 tops categories的時候，都嚇死佢地: round-neck, v-neck, turtle-neck, cardigans, each separated into wool, knit & cotton，And this is only winter tops… ehehhehe (for reference, P係喜歡彈性，沒有拘束的生活，more flexible，可由多角度欣賞事物， 不介意突發事件，注重過程多於目標，唔介意批評，包容性強，時間觀念低 ，成日遲到!)

3. Thinker 理智  (T) vs Feeler 情感 (F)

第三項係精神功能，based on what when we make decisions.T 人係依據事實，邏輯，去分析及作決定，以公平，公正，合理為原則，喜歡 debate,  argue and criticism，唔怕conflict. 而 F 人係依據個人對事物觀點作決定，重視個人價值，喜好同埋原則，易流露感覺，喜歡和諧關係，當遇到conflict 時內心很辛苦，好appreciative，而且好喜歡被 appreciated，大喊十。 這一項，我也毫無疑問係F，根本唔需要聽 T 的性格特質. 而且聽完之後，好似 ‘叮’ 一聲，有好多過往的conflict，就算係同一d唔重要的人，我都好唔明自己點解要咁緊’上心’，原來 it’s all because of ‘F’!

4。Sensing 實感 (S) vs Intuition (N)

第四項亦係精神功能，亦係令我最拿不定主意，分唔清自己係 S 定係 N!

N: 喜歡新野 (me to a certain extent)，curious，睇野比較宏觀全局，勇於嘗試新構想，諗野係 future tense，喜歡 change  (Obama?) ，富想像力 (day dreamer) (me!)，注重事情的可能性，關連性，及背後的意義。例子1：去旅行時，一個N的人可能最 enjoy 唔係去個一刻，而係plan 時想像去旅行的情況 (me me me!!!)， 對於我黎講，去旅行係去三次的，第一次plan, 第二次真實去，第三次係返黎後整 d相時又去多次!!  例子2：對錢銀concept唔太清，大概便OK, 人地找錢都唔會睇得好清楚 (me when dealing with my own money, but not me with dealing with others’ money)。例子3：揭雜誌時會翻來翻去，好random 咁揭，直至搵到喜歡睇的 (me me me!!!)。

S: 實事求事，把握現在 (me)，務實經驗 (not sure what this means hahahahah)，細緻有序 (me)，目標明確 (not me)，盡責實幹，有耐性 (me)，能耐得住沉悶工作(me)，死板 (me)，少創造力 (me)，不喜歡前瞻 (me)，容易缺乏面對將來的計劃及能力。例子1：揭雜誌時會先睇index ，搵喜歡睇的，然後揭到要睇的一頁 (not me)。例子2：做事，接收資訊，係好detail 的 (me me me!!!).

同 E & I 一樣，S 的人係唔會以為自己係 N 的，但係生活，工作好多要求我地好多 S，所以好多 S 的性格都可能係 functional or train 出來的。我聽N 的 description 的時候，又起初有好多共鳴，到最後都決定唔到。我係一個勁 detail 的人，但係這是 J 或是 S 呢 ?! 我的 S 係因為這幾年的經歷 (& 摧殘) 而成的嗎? 又或是傳道講，其實N 都分好多種，所以要再 test…….. -_-~

待續…………

concentrate !! (by Elaine)

你要專心仰賴耶和華，不可依靠自己的聰明，在你一切所行的事上都要認定祂，祂必指引你的路 (箴言3: 5-6)

Thanks Anita

statistics pain….. (by Elaine)

這幾天，我清醒既時間，腦海都只有一個字 – Stat! Li 個字比我無限壓力，就好似有一舊大石壓住我，完全無反抗能力! Stat 對於我黎講，係陌生人，而且係永遠唔會熟到的陌路人。這幾年，其實我一直逃避Stat，只係草草應付了罷。而且無人可以幫到我，因為無人做過我Li隻study. 成個department，個個圖都係做 experimental study, 大部分人都係只需要用ANOVA / MANOVA。而且個個都用，好容易搵到人教 or 幫手。但我呢，’喇’ s_ (as Tim Tim would say) 上身，走去做新o野 (新 only in terms of our division)，做observational / epidemiological study, 要用埋d 無人用過的stat, 所以無人教，無人幫………….現在已進入最後關頭，避無可避….上個月同老細講攪唔點，可以點算，用邊種Stat，就只有一個答案：我要自己諗點佢…………….只有一個字：灰!

唯有靠自己罷，下面的書同notes便是我依靠! 請為我禱告，這兩個星期要work out 到用邊隻stat test!